THE REST

"That is the ugliest damn car...what the hell is that? Oh....an Echo." ~ Echo

MR. LYNCH: Can anyone tell me what a "theocracy" is?
MONA: O, Mr. Lynch. That's NOT EVEN a real word.

MONA: LMAO I don't understand myself from 3 yrs ago
ECHO: hell i dont understand myself from 20 min ago

MONA: I don't even remember SAYING half these things
SARAH: why not? i can remember you saying them and i wasn't even there

MONA: I just remembered somethin
ECHO: you're radioactive, arent you. I KNEW IT

"I think you'll find the conversation to be nutritious AND delicious" ~Echo

ANJA: Mr. Cat is kissin Mrs. Ostrich
MONA: MOM!!! Anja's making the beanie babies interbreed!

ECHO: oh I just thought of something else!!!
MONA: But I was thinking too!!!!!!
ECHO: we cant both think at once! we both share the same brain!

"Uh oh Dad thinks I'm a communist brb." ~Mona

"It's not rocket surgery, people." ~Katie

MONA: I just jammed a spoon into my face
ECHO: well, that IS where theyre supposed to go more or less

MONA: Last yr 2 relig teachers left bc they decided to have babies...*chronic problem* Mr B was like "It must be something in the drinking water....." it's kinda weird bc the chair of the dept had to get........that surgery
ECHO: hysterectomy?
MONA: YEAH and he said that in front of her and I was like "OOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and she kind of dropped something
ECHO: her uterus?

"The thing is -- ovulation is not a science. Well okay, it IS..." ~Echo

"You talk about me and Mr. Lynch like I was some kind of dirty whore or something. But. Well I was just a little homewrecker with good hair and gravity for a mortal enemy." ~Mona

Don't you love it how "like" has replaced "said?" Good times. ~Mona

"Yeah well if wishes were horses, we'd all ride to Fooksburgh!" ~ Echo

"And God said, 'Man, that sucked.'" ~ ScottPhisto

"It looked like a lion was wrestling a gazelle...only, in a sleeping bag." ~ ScottPhisto

"A talent search? Ooooo, I'm talent! Search me!" ~ ScottPhisto

"Echo! There's a naked boy in your bathroom! Oh, it's me." ~ ScottPhisto

SCOTTPHISTO: See, this is why I could never be a rock star. I couldn't resist the temptations.
ECHO: No, you'll never be a rock star because you can't sing.

"I feel like Tori Amos and Jeff Buckley's brains got married and I'm inside the head of their CHILD." ~Mona

ECHO: her mom doesn't like me
MONA: ew why
ECHO: she knows I come from a bad family. She WOULD know....she's my cousin

MONA: I'm really disappointed the Cribs crew hasnt been to my house in awhile
MONA: but John Travolta was here
MONA: I HIT HIS HEAD o_O
MONA: and he said
MONA: WATCH THE HAIR
MONA: and I gave him a fish eye
MONA: like this O_o
MONA: and he goes
MONA: Look I spend a lot of time on the hair.
MONA: And then you hit it.
MONA: You hit my hair
MONA: and that was all he had to say about that

"YES IU JUST CSAN"T TYPE WHEN I THINK BOITS CETRAINNTHINGS!!!!!!!" ~Caylean

I mean you're SMART but in a strict-Catholic-upbringing kind of way. Whereas I'm smart in a "everything you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask" kind of way. ~Echo

"Fresh fruit" that comes from vending machines is neither "fresh" nor "fruit," okay? ~Echo

"Okay, I can understand not liking the Clash. I can understand not liking David Bowie. I can even understand not liking U2, 'cause that front guy can get a little preachy sometimes. But HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN? I mean, damn, aren't you HUMAN? And if not,
can I, you know....see your insides?" ~ Echo

ECHO: Let's give 'im the beat-down!
(SILENCE)
ECHO: ...Or not...

CHARLES: What planet are YOU from?
ECHO: Wouldn't you like to know...

CHARLES: Why all the black? Why don't you wear some colorful clothes?
ECHO: My language is colorful enough.

"Okay, I've got punk, not-so-punk, and good-lord-how-dare-you- call-that-punk!" - Echo

"Oh yeah? Well if you love your wife so much, why don't you MAAARRY her!" - Echo

"So I guess Toothbrushonia isn't a democracy." ~Caylean

"See, this is back when you had to be IMAGINATIVE to freak people out." ~ Echo, on Devo videos

"Man, I only see slugbugs first when there's no one else around." ~Echo

MONA: hm let me talk to my manager...
ECHO: I thought I was your manager
MONA: O_O are you? SHITE.
ECHO: waitaminute. *reads back of napkin* I think we decided.....wait, is that an S or a 5?

LukesRevng: *sings* in the cit-AYYYYY....city of Compton....
CAPS: *get busted in someone's ass*

CAYLEAN: Oooo.........blurry scroofy Bruce. Makes him look even scroofier
ECHO: Yay! everybody wins!
CAYLEAN: *buzzer* Argentina!!!!! wait.....what game are we playing?

MONA: she put a pox on yer first born
ECHO: ooo good thing I'm celibate and will never have kids because I don't believe in touching people for any reason

ECHO'S MOM: I think I only read about 6 months worth of archives. Then I started MUDding and now that takes up all my time. They have a Star Wars MUD....
ECHO: Meh. Youre not recruiting me into yer perverted fantastical little world, She-Demon!
ECHO'S MOM: in muds at least you get to talk to other real people, and you get to pretend to be someone else. Of course, that is the part I like the least, but I am getting used to it.
ECHO: I cant even get the hang of the Scott Adams adventures....i dont think im ready for something as established and intimidating as a mud
GAME: YOU ARE IN A ROOM. THERE IS A WINDOW
ECHO: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-RING! *plays Tetris instead*
ECHO'S MOM: well in this game, it's:
GAME: A TROLLOC (nasty half-man half-beast) has arrived from the north. A trolloc slashes your body. You attempt to flee!
ECHO: you forget that I am part of the MTV generation. I want to SEE this Trolloc that you speak of up close. and I'm sorry but these days I just cant see the word "slash" without giggling
ECHO'S MOM: imagination is better. sniff
ECHO: I know, I know. Hey, you have MUDs. I have Salman Rushdie

MONA: Bonochick's avatar just stole my soul again
MONA: I NEEDed that
ECHO: *sigh*
MONA: o_O Don't you give me that
ECHO: yeah? whatrreyagonnadoabooutit?
MONA: I'ma.....I'ma...hm... o_O Wouldn't YOU like to know.

ECHO: youre frenetic
MONA: YOU TAKE THAT BACK ONCE I FIND A DICTIONARY

"David Bowie: The snack you can eat with a straw!!!" ~ScottPhisto

"If the Cake guy sang with the B52s guy I'd cry." ~Mona

ECHO: i really think you need to read a book called "The Way We Never Were"
MONA: O_O that sounds sad!
ECHO: its a book that debunks nostalgia myths
MONA: *sniff* but I LIKE nostalgia
ECHO: well don't worry...it doesn't debunk myths from IMs you sent six months ago

"My dad sold his white van to an ice cream man...and I'm like...SO ALL THESE YEARS WE'VE HAD THAT THING WE COULD HAVE BEEN STORING ICE CREAM IN IT?" ~Mona

ECHO: what is the PROBLEM
MONA: well...you'll just say it complicates things
ECHO: yes, probably because it does
MONA: YOU SEE?
ECHO: if youre writing about it, talking about it, watching it, listening to it, having a conversation with it, or living it, it is complicated

MONA: ooo do you have any other reccomm
MONA: reccomen
MONA: recommen
MONA: hm
MONA: suggestions?

"Christians. They've always got something better to do than write porn." ~Echo

ECHO: good lord what's gonna happen when you end up alone in a room with a hot guy who
wants to jump yer bones in REAL LIFE?
MONA: O_O
MONA: I'll name the 12 sons of Jacob
MONA: REUBEN
MONA: Simeon
MONA: Levi
MONA: Napthali
MONA: Issacar
MONA: Asher
MONA: Dan
MONA: Zebulon
MONA: Gad
MONA: Benjamin
MONA: Judah
MONA: Joseph
MONA: VERYNICETOMEETYOUSIRTHANKSFERDROPPINGBY

"Why'd you come back? did the circus not want you?" ~Echo

MONA: THE GREAT CHEERIO DISASTER OF 2002! o_O cheerios everywhere
ECHO: good lord. we hoped this day would never come....
MONA: QUICK! What was Plan A?
ECHO: um....panic?

"I hate subtraction. It hurts my feelings. It's so negative" ~Felis

MONA: uh oh my toe...it was like.....being weird
ECHO you mean, like singing "hello my baby" until someone else walked in the room so you couldn't convince them you had a singing dancing toe?
MONA: *puts toe in box and buries it in building*
TOE: *ribbit*

MONA: my Twizzlers pull n peel neither want to pull NOR peel
ECHO: yeah i think Immanuel Kant struggled with that same paradox

"Thank god I'm not a rock star. Or wait... DAMMIT ....I'm NOT a rock star!"
~ScottPhisto

ECHO: but it sounds like you and he have quite a rapport
MONA: *rapport* what's that?
ECHO: um you know, a thing. "we got a good thing going on"

"How do you know it was a lizard? It could have been an alligator, or a chipmunk." - Echo

"Oh shut up before I come over there with my pair of left-handed scissors. ~Echo

MONA: where is Echo? *goes through withdrawl*
SCOTTPHISTO: I killed her and put her in jars. Took 16 jars!
MONA: 16 whole jars?
SCOTTPHISTO: Well, one wasn't full all the way.

E.T. is like "Hey lookit ScottPhisto's ginormous waffle...." ~ Mona

ECHO: im trying to explain ovulation to ScottPhisto
MONA: can you explain it to ME, too? Because I seriously am never on top of those things.....

"AK! BOB DYLAN LOOKS LIKE A CATCHER'S MITT THAT SOMEONE MICROWAVED!" ~Mona

"Like I always say: BRING ON THE GAY DANCING COWBOYS." ~Echo

"Ah, Hamburger Helper..... the something-or-other of the gods." ~ Echo

"I must apologize. I led you down the garden path, but then I just smacked you with a fish." ~ Echo

"I felt so WANTED. Dead or alive. But in a non-Bon Jovi way. Because I'm not a cowboy. But if you SEE ANY, send them my way," ~Mona

"Well we went shopping for furniture and i ended up with Clash CDs. So it was a well-spent afternoon." ~Echo

MONA: and he comes over and knocks on my arm
MONA: HE KNOCKED on my ARM. I'm like come iiiiinn well he wanted to borrow a pencil
MONA: so I gave him a pencil
MONA: AND IT HAS HIS COOTIES NOW
MONA: <-----not crazy

MONA: QUESTION
ECHO: yesh?
MONA: ok
MONA: well
MONA: how do I phrase this
MONA: ok Discuss the way in which Marquez has manipulated time. What effect does this have on the reader, intellectually and emotionally?
MONA: Take yer time. *wait*
ECHO: I hate it when you make me think youre gonna ask me a sex question

SCOTTPHISTO: why are the hairs on the back of my neck standing up?
ECHO: they need to stretch their legs?

MONA: Can I asketh you something? What were you like at my age?
ECHO: Well I was obsessed with U2, in love with a teacher, I listened to 80's music, watched MST3k, spent too much time on the internet, and searched desperately for Sting porn
ECHO: I don't expect that you'd be able to relate.
MONA: NOT AT ALL.

MONA: in the grand scheme of things -- government class -- important or not?
ECHO: Well that depends. What do you want to be when you grow up?
MONA: Bruce Springsteen.

MONA: Did you eat my english paper?
ECHO: Em... *looks at scraps on plate* I had AN english paper...Was yours Kurt Vonnegut? 'Cause if not, then no
MONA: Slaughterhouse 5?
ECHO: Breakfast of Champions
MONA: heh

"I opened the window wider and snorted myself up my BRAIN!!!!!!!" ~ Mona

MONA: we do
MONA: we do>
MONA: we do?
MONA: lol WATCH as I type a question mark

"Its like The Vegas Toilet.....sometimes you win, sometimes you lose." ~ Echo

ECHO: Well i'd help you with yer english project but theres just two little
problems:
1. I'm way too busy listening to Duran Duran
2. I have no idea what you're talking about

ECHO: That Stephen king book, it has made a difference in my life
ECHO'S MOM: See, not everything mom suggests is crap.
ECHO: Like you know how he bitches about television? Well a couple times I've been getting ready to sit down to some MST3K and then I think of Stephen King getting all mad at me and I turned the TV off and read a book instead
ECHO'S MOM: So, is the difference now, that you're going to be stalking Steve?
ECHO: Of course not. Not after I bought these non-refundable plane tickets to Dublin and this tent....

"It was a physics joke, but not THAT much of a physics joke." ~Echo

"Hey, that pair of feet has been just like a pair of feet to me!" ~Mona

"You mean, as in things that you don't tell people, or as in things that you leak?" ~Echo

"I am scandalized all the way down to my Bon Jovi slipper-socks." ~Mona

"I cut too many eye-holes in my sheet, though. . .what an odd phantom I am." ~Mona

"I can't rationalize and play Ms. Pac Man at the same time!" ~Echo

"My computer is way slow...so I'm eating Skittles to speed things up. I don't think it'll work, but I like Skittles." ~Scott

MORISSEY: *recline* Love....leave.....love....live.....
MONA: I don't understand half of what he says
ECHO: *shrug* Its better that way. If you understood every word you'd probably jump off a building
MONA: He was loitering in the Best Buy parking lot, and I smuggled him home

ECHO: Here's my impression of every girl in every "Halloween" movie ever:
GIRL: "Look at me! I am SOOOOOOOOOOO naked and vulnerable! I hope nobody STABS
me! To DEATH!"

ECHO: You know they say there's satellites up in space that can see the color of your eyes...or your IMs
MONA: O_O

"It's like the kind of plastic they make paper plates out of.......wait." ~Mona

MONA: Ok so today I wore my Ramones shirt and I'm hanging around the office waiting fer Ms Sarver to come back so I can hand in my very late hw....and I'm like making small talk like "I heard about yer car....." I don't know what I said. And he goes "you like the Ramones? Ba ba ba ba?" and I go "do you wanna be sedated?" The implications of which I NOW realize. Maybe I'm just dirty. BUT then I'm like 'you know that song Ramona, if he's like mumbling then--' and he goes "Little Mona always wants to come over" right when Sarverino's coming in and I'm like cracking up like a moron and...well you had to be there. BUT THE POINT IS I think this means we're engaged
ECHO: wait...was either one of you waving a chicken bone while singing? 'Cause if you didn't then you might not legally be engaged
BONO: She said bone.....heehee..
MONA: I'MSORRYWHAT?
BONO: I'll get the tranquilizer
ECHO: oh so someone IS going to be sedated

"Soulmates are like goldfish. Only not naked. MOST of the time." ~Mona~

MONA: How sad is it that THAT is my earliest memory?
ECHO: I don't know what my earliest memory is. I remember we had a goat, and he drank coke out of bottles. I mean, we had to hold the bottle for him
MONA: It's so weird. because I watch--YOU HAD A GOAT?! I couldn't even have DUST
BUNNIES.
ECHO: Yeah we had goats, chickens, geese, cats, dogs, horses, lizards, a catfish
MONA: CATFISH!!!!!!!
ECHO: Oh I had a pet crayfish for about 3 days. And i had a pet rock
MONA: In 7th grade we took biology and I stole some wormy thing from school. WTF was it called? the flatworm? With those eye things? I took one in a ziploc bag. Then I lost it on the way home somehow. It's probably still THERE.

"DEAR MOOFINS! You have corrupted me immensely." - Mona

MONA: I'll fookin buy his family cable just so they can see my moment of glory on VH1
ECHO: what a brilliant idea
MONA: I'll buy him Tivo
ECHO: ooooo will you buy me one too? I really want a Tivo
MONA: no, Tivo are only for objects of my revenge
ECHO: feck
MONA: ok hit on Bono and I'll get you one
ECHO: CONSIDER IT DONE

CAYLEAN: Um...if a fish is floating in the water on it's side, does that mean its dead?
ECHO: em.....do you have a stethoscope handy?
CAYLEAN: No........**lip quiver**
ECHO: Hmmmmm well play "Even Better than the Real Thing".....if it doesn't get up and dance I think yer screwed

ECHO: and another thing!
ECHO: WHY
ECHO: ....
ECHO: okay I don't have a question actually